[ more or less finishing up now. scanning them with him ]

... Honestly, I don't expect any of this to be of much use. But it at least helps to clear my head.

No, this is fine.

I should ask- is there anyone you're decidedly against targeting?

[ a twinge at the corner of his mouth, and a faint sigh ]

Thank you, I'll keep that in mind from here on. I admit I did think about it, but... not for very rational reasons.

That other assignment like this, when only one group was punished, Cerberus also considered offering themselves up as the 'sacrifice,' so to speak.

Bugbear offered first. There was no value in debating over it, especially once things were already in motion. In the larger picture, either way amounted to the same, so switching the target would have only complicated things unnecessarily.

There's no logical benefit in it. It wouldn't have helped anything then, and it's certainly doesn't help anything now- it's just a thought stuck in my head.

So, I'm glad to have a reason to put it to rest.

Yes, of course. Though, Cerberus's members have only changed over about as much as ours have- but it still doesn't matter.

No, I don't. It's not a better option.

I'm... having a little trouble trusting my own judgment right now, anyway.

... I don't know.

I apologize, I don't mean to whine. Normally, I'd like to think that I can be somewhat sharper under pressure, but at the moment I keep getting caught up in unproductive thoughts. I guess I'm... still trying to get used to deciding things for myself.

Nothing more has happened. It's just that it's similar to the last one...

Depending on the metric, it was the best possible result.

I--

[ curling in on himself just a little, arms around his stomach. he starts out still talking level and like he's just trying to explain the technical details but then it just keeps spilling out ]

It was just for a moment, but I thought that I'd killed him for good. It didn't make a mistake, I made a deliberate choice, with considerable effort to ensure it. And now I'm choosing the same thing over again, because it's the best option again, but I haven't even known her that long-- I could be wrong about everything, and she could die for it, and what should I tell her, then- better you than me?

[ breathes in and out slowly ]

I- I'm sorry. I got a little carried away.

It's all right. I won't change my answer.